Luxembourger King
You rejoin us after an almighty night of birthday boozing in the Luxembourger capital: Luxembourg City. Although, not even the sorest of heads could fail to appreciate the spectacular city scenery that greeted us from our lofty Airbnb balcony the following morning. As touched upon in my previous post, we were rather taken aback by the capital’s greenery, precipitousness, and architecture, all of which defy its rather dull reputation as a place simply built for multinational financial institutions and for hiding your cash. You will absolutely find those here too, I heard Jimmy Carr has recently invested in a souvenir shop around the corner, but there is a great deal more to the city than that.
Firstly, it is possible to take part in a murder mystery tour around the labyrinthine streets if you can procure twenty euros, a mobile phone, and strong calves. Believing this would be an excellent way of experiencing merriment while simultaneously absorbing all of Luxembourg City’s historic landmarks, Lowri booked us on a special birthday tour. With phones and wits at the ready, we prepared ourselves for a case so fascinating and complex that Poirot himself would do anything to take part in it. Unfortunately, after hitting two checkpoints and solving a couple of puzzles that a small rodent could crack, we realised that not only was the tour easier than falling asleep during an episode of Songs of Praise, but it also had absolutely nothing to do with Luxembourg. We may as well have been completing the same tour in Coventry and, as such, gave up after the third virtual maze.
All public transport within the country is free. A fact Lowri quickly learned while trying to pay what must have been perceived as a bribe to a bemused bus driver as we boarded for the first time. Although the nation is categorically loaded, this is still a unique policy and one that other wealthy states would doubtless disregard. More than just assisting sightseeing tourists and commuting bankers, it facilitates extremely high social mobility for those at the bottom of the economic ladder as well as helping to remove ghastly gas guzzlers from traffic-laden roads; both of which were clearly noticeable (take note Vaughan Gething).
While landmarks are aplenty, including their own Notre-Dame Cathedral and the complex cave structure carved underneath the city called Casemates du Bock, we found the greatest of all pleasures by simply strolling through the various distinctive districts that orbit the capital’s core. Most cling to the meandering Alzette River but each quarter varies greatly in its primary purpose and demographic, as quarters invariable do. The Grund, for example, is a fairytale-like area lined with waterside houses and narrow alleyways akin to a chocolate-box Cotswold village while Rives de Clausen is the place anyone under thirty goes for a cocktail and a kebab akin to an inordinately priced Wind Street. Failing both in age and in finance we turned down the twenty-euro cosmopolitans and continued our jaunt.
As we abandoned the river’s edge and began to climb back to the raised heart of the city, we were treated to spectacular sunset views of Clausen Viaduct, which appeared Roman in design but was actually built by the London-based Waring Brothers in 1862, and Neumünster Abbey: a former Benedictine construction purpose-built to house the bones of national hero John the Blind. More than content with our surroundings we found a nearby bench that overlooked the scene and began slurping our corner-shop-bought cans of Bofferding, the only realistic beer-drinking option in the country.
Our five-day tour of Luxembourg afforded many surprises as well as many things that were not surprising in the slightest, number one being the fact it is cheaper to buy a small beachside property in Wales than it is to buy a cup of coffee anywhere in the country. But if one is prepared to consume only packet noodles and the wonderfully named Bofferding beer, from cans of course, then it immediately becomes far more accessible to the average Dai. From the rolling verdant hills of the north to the remarkable intrigue and beauty of the capital, Luxembourg is far more than Europe’s favourite tax haven, but a haven full stop (just steer clear of the murder mystery tours).
J
